Feeling low...

Unexplainable sadness kip re-occuring in my mind lately... duno why... haiz... Am i leading a better life now? hmm compared to last time... dun really feel so... cant seem to get this load off my heart... tried not to think about it le... but haiz... perhaps juz missing you again... duno y la if i hav a choice i would like to go back to the past... again haiz...
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Ystd juz talked back rather harshly to my mum cuz she kip nagging again... dun really understand y they wan to open my door to nag abit den close it back... They know that the nagging wuld b useless... but they stil do it... sometimes really wan to b alone... was thinking of putting a do not disturb sign on my door... for both our good... Ystd totally forgot bout the treat mum gd thingy cuz was in quite a foul mood la... den after that den realised... oh no... haiz there goes my efforts... it wil always be like this... then after more quarrels wil come again de...
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Hmm today started watching a new drama titled "corner with love" acted by Luo Zhi Xiang and Da S... ya its basically juz about love la... my ex intro to me de... she say its v nice... i watched abit and indeed was nice la... alot of things in the show reminded me bout alot of things wif her... hmm good memories are so difficult to forget... duno if she felt anything while watching the show anot... yup i heavent finish watching it yet but its v nice la... the 1st few episode hav already caught my attention so im surely gona finish it...
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Yup nothing much le... something to share again... this is something which Bryan corrected me ystd... Hmm he was playing the guitar for CG den in a song one of the chords was wrong... and think it sounds weird... he knows it but he said he wil need some time to figure the right chords out... But it wil take some time... luckily Garrett helped him touch here and there and came out with the right ones almost immediately... haha a chinese saying "there will always be higher mountain then the highest mountain that you know of"... haha den i replied i feel so small... cuz i feel theres so much more to learn la... den Bryan said... "Always feel inspired... never feel inferior"... Simple yet powerful... turn your "inferiorness" into your strength... aim to outgrow the highest mountain always... take care ppl...

SMU Letter!!!

Hmm ystd juz got a nice letter lying on my bed... ok white envelop with a small blue logo on top... WOOOOO SMU... very happy open the letter.... looking for the word congratulations... haha was so happy and excited la... i never really read la... then these four sickening words came out... We are very sorry.... zzzz sian crumpled the letter throw away le lol... disappointed la but nvm at least they reply... Hmm now left NUS le... surely chances are super slim duno wil get any good news anot haha...
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Hmm ystd my mum nagged at me again... was about to say back den i reme muz control haha... so kept my cool... den i felt very good cuz at least its a small improvement haha... hope this wil continue la...
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Today work as usual slack... im actually reduced to playing with air fresherner caps... cuz cant stare at comp too long wil spoil my eyes... very scared that my eyes wil b damaged cuz things are always getting very blurry at the end of the day... hmm juz now had long conversation wif Wee Ling... we talked about many things... job, uni, friends, work, relationships and family... we also debated some things which we disagreed lol... Hmm pleasant girl to talk to... Yup went to lunch with her ate Long John Silvers... den packed few sushi den back to work le...
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Haha juz received a msg frm Bryan... Red Rain, a christian band is coming to singapore for a performance... Red Rain is an awesome band la they travel around the world each year playing God's music hoping to get more ppl saved into God's embrace... the songs are so captivating... to those who like rock music haha u muz not miss this... the concert is going to rock the whole house!! Giv me a call if you want to go...
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Haha nothing much le... time to share a good thing le... this is something which i thought of a long time ago... This can be used in the context of christians and non christians... A weak love will always be destroyed by a strong temptation... A strong love will always destoy a weak teamptation... But wat about strong love meeting strong temptation?? haha... no ans... cuz they will never meet... take care pals...

Started Plucking...

Woot ystd printed lots of guitar tabs at my work place lol... i tried it out on my guitar at home... Actually plucking its not that difficult as i thought... i usually see the tabs of the song and freak out... Ystd decided to try figuring out myself... always tot i now stil at strumming level so surely cant do plucking de, so i dun even bother to try it la haha... hmm yup but i tried it out anyway... ystd learnt and memorised the starting tune of the song "Be Like That" by 3 Doors Down... haha though its very small but at least is a start la... next time maybe can do more complicated ones le... Ystd was super tired le but stil stayed up to practise... haha think my feelings for this instrument is growing... Haha maybe next time my boss can allow me to bring my guitar to work den can practise more liao le lol...
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Haha went to work super slack today... morning earn only $5.50... den i watched "kang xi lai le" and "yu le bai fen bai" haha very funny la... so fast time past den went for lunch break... Ate my lunch wif my collegues Dolly Elaine and Wee Ling lol... i ate tom yum soup wif rice... the soup not nice de... stomach quite uncomfortable now... My collegues are very funny de la haha kip joking... den they kip bluffing me... duno y frm the 1st day i kena bluff alot of time lol... tink i look blur to them den they bully me lol no ar no ar they nice ppl haha everytime buy thing for me to eat de...
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Haha now nothing much le waiting for 7pm to come den can go home le... Haha share something tat Bryan shared wif me... A person of no dream is a person of no life... cool... haha so get a dream and a target in life... most importantly work towards it... smilex

Mum i love u...

Mother's day is over liao... This was the first Mother's day that i actually bought a present for my mum... cuz frm young i was not v close to my parents... in fact i was not very close to anyone la... was on my own everyday... no one knew wat i was thinking... Hmm tink it was until towards the end of my secondary 3 then i found someone which was very close to me... haha but in the end i still lost her... now back on my own again... so was thinking hey y not giv a present? these thoughts were supported by Bryan's words and the drama that i hav watched recently 'One Litre Of Tears'... Haha i made a good choice haha...
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Haha my present does not cost $100 or wat la... its juz a small cake that i bought after my work... actually there are two cakes left de... one got fruits and vanilla cream which i think my mum wil like alot... the other one is chocolate de... then i was deciding before someone else took the fruit cake... sian then no choice got to take chocolate lol...
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When my mum saw the cake in the fridge... she ask me wat tat... then i say i buy for u de... very pai seh dun dare to c her haha... haha at night i felt that i juz buy liddat never say anything also dun mean much... so i wrote her note... "Eat the cake for breakfast... cuz i duno if it wil spoil... happy mother's day..." haha juz like that... then i sticked it near to her purse... haha next morning woke up saw the note was gone le, looked in the fridge one part of the cake was gone too... den found two notes on the tv saying "Thanx for the cake... its very nice... bought some cake for u too... its your off day frm work so dun play too much computer... use your time frm now onwards to your university to practise your guitar..."
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I was really touched la by the note... though stil abit naggy but this time i felt different... juz very touched haha tats all... i know she wun b reading this so i juz say wat i want to say here... " haha mum thanx alot i know u love me alot care for me... sometimes though i flare up, i wil feel very guilty after that... wil hide in my bed blaming myself... though we are not very close but i stil love u... yup your great... thanx for everything..." Haha felt great after saying my piece... :)
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Ok moving on to Monday le... i called Milton over to my house... we exchanged the songs we created la... haha his song is titled "It Must Be You" the whole song was done by plucking... its really very nice lol... haha then after that i was quite reluctant to do mine le lol... cuz really like inferior la... but stil managed to do mine quickly... i can do better de den maybe cuz pai seh and its my first time singing song to another person besides my ex haha so i rushed through my song... den guess didnt turn out well la... but he was great la he stil say not bad for a begginner gave me 7/10 haha... den he corrected some mistakes in my song... he also taught me the 4/4 strumming pattern and the 3/4 strumming pattern haha... really thanx alot la...
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After that we had a game of Guilty Gear 1 on 1 on my computer... Guilty Gear is a fighting game something like street fighter only that it is cooler la and hav more combos... Haha tink Milton was not used to my comp so he pretty much got thrashed la... lol had a fun time wif him...
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Hmm tink my entries always so long so muz stop for now le ba... Suddenly recalled something that i read about a few years ago which is good to share... Shaq. O Neil is a super tell pro NBA player... his father once said to him... "Son everybody already have to look up to you... Give them a good reason to do so..." i feel its very inspiring haha... so let everyone hav a good reason to respect you... take care le...

"One Litre Of Tears"...

Today juz finished the whole series of "One Litre Of Tears"... guess alot of ppl had already watched it le... but for ppl who doesn't know this... This is a drama bout a girl named Aya who spent a long part of her life fighting an incurable diesease... and the things that she had accomplished... it is filmed based on her diary to touch and impact ppl and to spread a msg that by simply being alive is already a great blessing... haha to be honest was really very hard for me to complete the series la... cuz half of the time was trying to hold back my tears... got quite a handful of times that i really lost it... den got once got caught by collegues so pai seh... But this show i gib 5 out of 5 tears... full marks... but highly recommend u all watch it alone at home...
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I feel so sry for Aya... she is down wif such a cruel diesease... She was juz physically handicapped but her mind was not affected... means she knows wats going on... she stil can c how ppl cared for her... how her illness was worsening each day... tears that her loved ones shed for her... Cruel rite... she cant play her favourite sport... cant copy down notes that the teacher says in time... slowly losing the abilty to talk fluently... slowly losing the ability to even get to the toilet in time... slowly losing the abilty to walk... but she stil struggled to write even though it was extremely difficult for her as her pen kips dropping... cuz thats the only evidence of her existence... until the last moment where she had lost the abilty to write... she completed her diary titled "One Litre Of Tears" and ended off with a distorted "Thank U"...
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As Aya was fighting the diesease... facing the reality was already hard enough... yet she always had to hear things frm other classmates or passer-bys that would hurt her even furthur... She even had to giv up a guy, Aso, that i felt she had loved, for fear of becoming a hinder to his life... Her dreams of pursuing her education was reduced to juz being able to help ppl... to complete her diary and lastly to juz simply stay alive with all that she got...
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Happy for her that her diary and all her writings were recognised by the media... and they were spread to many ppl and it was a great help... to let many other handicapped ppl know that they are not alone... to urge them never to give up... and many ppl wrote back to Aya showing their appreciation... The message she had given us, able ppl... is to treasure life and to let us know how lucky we are... not only that... she had also motivated doctors through her fighting spirit... Awesome person isnt she... though she seemed so helpless herself... yet she had unknowingly provided boundless help for others... Though she had passed away, she had already fulfilled her last few wishes...
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Another thing i want to comment was her great family... can understand that they were feeling very very pain deep inside, can really see the warmth and love in their family... its really unexplainable but the way the parents the siblings act really shows that... it wil b far too long to explain but really its soo touching...
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Hmm she had impacted me through this show as well... I learnt alot frm this show so today this entry is to show my appreciation for her too... nothing bout me... cuz compared to her... i can wait... hope her message that she had gone thru pains to note down, gets to everyone as soon as possible...
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Yup as always something good to share again le... "One Litre Of Tears"...